Where…to…fucking…begin?
This is not a travel blog. I am not some travel channel, Destinations Unknown ~ Samantha Brown fucking wanna be. All be it I adore Anthony Bourdain and his writing style but I digress. Still when I get a chance to do something really different. Something that creates core memories. Memories I will hold on to till my very last fucking breath. So you better trust and believe I am going to have things to say about it.
Still it’s taken me more than a fucking year to map out this article. Knowing very well that it was going to be a monster and for a lot of reasons. All of life changing, all wonderful, all reminding us of what it’s like to be us.
Some Quick Background
Atlantis Events was started in the early 90’s by Richard Campbell. Richard sought to create perfect a simple beginnings a simple but effective formula around destination events.
Let’s create a bubble where we get to play “The Way We Play.”
This is far from a fucking new concept. Mecca’s of the rainbow tribe have been around since time began. Folks of the LBGTQ+ persuasion have been find Places no one else wanted turning them into beacons of wonder. Destinations like Ptown, Rehoboth Beach, Wilton Manors, Key West, Palm Springs, and Puerto Vallarta have been islands of acceptance for decades.
Spots of seclusion like Rainbow Mountain Resort, The Woods Campground and Hillside have been destinations for us to find that “Guatemalan-ness” we are missing (watch the Bird Cage if you don’t get the reference).
But before Atlantis there was nothing curated around “our” exact needs and requirements. A vacation designed with our interests, our culture, our desires, our wants pulled together into one life affirming destination.
Atlantis truly has created this around the concept of “The Way We Play” which just so happens to be their mantra. They fucking literally created a market that didn’t exist before, becoming a power so great they purchased a competing product, RSVP Vacations from PlanetOut. The first and only LGBTQ+ based and led company to be traded publicly on the NASDQ stock exchange. (As far as I know.)
This formula has been perfected over 30+ years. Clearly built from nothing into something. Atlantis offers a bunch of destination vacations including resort based holidays, however their apex, pe-de-resistance, alpha-big-dicked-top event is the Winter Cruise.
Enter Stage Left — The Big Gay Fucking Boat
5400 — remember this number because it will be important. That’s the number of people that attend. The 5400 are directly responsible for 90% of the energy, and excitement that makes this all so special. Along with the modern-fucking-marvel that is the Oasis-Class ships of Royal Caribbean. Of course when WE do something we go fucking big!
This year our magic carpet of wonderfulness was the Harmony of the Seas, and while I won’t fucking bore you with the technical details (I am a SUPER fucking Transit Geek – Deal with it!) just know that, the Harmony and her sister ships of the Oasis-Class are the biggest cruise ships, IN THE FUCKING WORLD. And I swear these vessels were designed with this event in mind.
So large are these ships that in order for them to be manageable for guests they are broken into “neighborhoods” inspired by some of the worlds great cities. Costing over a Billon Dollars to build this ship, It’s the perfect place for 5400 screaming, campy, glamorous, over the top queers along with more than a few very brave and supportive hetros (mostly parents joining along) to descend on — creating an environment of permission and privacy which becomes the foundation of the pink temple to us!
The Cruise Kweens, and a dream!
Our Atlantis adventure started at the end of 2021 with an idea. After so many well thought-out plans were dashed to the wind by the pandemic, a group of us whom we will refer to as the cruise kweens, began the process of carefully planning for what in 2023 would be 8 days of beyond incredible memories.
I don’t know how it is for the rest of the alphabet with in the LBGTQ+ community, but gay men can be a handful when trying to nail-down plans. It’s akin to herding cats with lasers implanted in their foreheads. Uniformity and direction are not our strong points, and it takes someone with a I-dont-fucking-give-a-shit, hear-me-now-queens, bitches-gotta-know attitude, and I am not talking about myself. No no babies, our adventure was to an extent the brain child of our one and only queen of quite-alot, Eamon D. (eamon.af).
After setting into motion the plan, our carefully curated island of travel-mates was set and we converged onto Fort Lauderdale for the beginnings of this adventure.
3 Parties a Day – What the Fuck!
A standard cruise is generally packed with a lot to do – but Atlantis really creates something special (its a recurring theme of expression), and it starts with the parties. Starting with the sail-away event.
There are generally 3 parties a day. 2 of which are themed with the first each day being some kind of Tea-Dance. The most popular is the tag-party which is always camo/military themed. Everyone attends in harnesses and some kind of camo. Most are just about “legally” dressed (as it fucking should be), and EVERYONE Comes.
Now I know what you are all fucking thinking. Where the fuck are all the bears? Well honey, sweetie, gum-drop, honey-cakes, they are there for sure. And while I won’t say that within our family group Daddy and I were the token big boys, we had no issues finding our tribe. More importantly no-one cared.
Daddy and I had no problems finding fucks (if we wanted them) so please ignore what everyone says about Atlantis and their twink-centric marketing, everyone is welcome.
I wish I would have gotten a picture of this, but we had some older (boomer-level) gays on-board. Some were in fact wheelchair bound, but all were treated as revered elders. It was fucking magical to watch the sea of twinks, twunks, cubs, bears, pups and Leather Daddies part to allow these community pioneers through.
Everyone was there to experience the fellowship of each other’s company and basque in the glory of our collective light. I really don’t have the fucking words (and I am rarely speechless!)
So please stop worrying about if you will fucking fit in, you will.
In the evenings the roll continues
There is truly nothing like being out in the middle of the ocean, the stars are so bright you can clearly see the edges of the milky way with the naked eye even over the incredible light show. Each evening (after dinner) starts the second themed party.
Sober (as in a friend of Bill W ~ your journey is respected by all), or chemically induced you can’t help but feel the excitement. Your heart starts to beat in tempo with the music. It’s like going to church. The church of fagitry.
Its not all about the fucking parties
I am over 40, and Daddy has me by a few years, thus hitting the parties each night is fucking physically impossible. We need time to recover, and its important to know that while the parties are beyond glorious, the whole fucking adventure isn’t just one big circuit party.
Daddy and I travel quite a bit. But cruising is something we really enjoy. In average we take 3 or 4 cruises a year, so I can say with a far amount of fucking certainly that the ships offer incredible entertainment. However Atlantis takes this to a totally new level.
Is that Billy Fucking Porter?
Yes…Yes it is. When I tell you this is a fucking event, do you think I am joking? Billy Porter joined us, and not only did he preform, he also did a book signing, and let me tell you something, that bitch knows how to party…and that’s all I’m say’n. (What happens on Atlantis…)
Needless to say – if you go on this cruise, and don’t fucking feel recharged at the end, then you have no fucking soul.
You will find friends, and make families. You will be a different person when you are done, and if you do not feel the Peace, Love, Unity and Respect, then my dear there is no hope for you to find any joy in this fucking life.
Note: This article is in no way Sponsored by Atlantis Events or Royal Caribbean InternationalJust an FYI
